Fetcamdan is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, caring lion.

Fetcamdan created the Sol system nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Fetcamdan, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Fetcamdan, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Fetcamdan's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Fetcamdan's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry gulls.

2. Do not take Fetcamdan's name in vain.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never skip in holy places.