Fomlatmip is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, confident human.

Fomlatmip created the solar system eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fomlatmip, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Fomlatmip, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Fomlatmip's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Fomlatmip's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump near cats.

2. Worship no other gods but Fomlatmip.

3. Hide if three mites approach from the east.

4. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

5. Never run in the presence of manatees.