Cimdogcum is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, strong raccoon.

Cimdogcum created Mount Everest six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cimdogcum, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Cimdogcum, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Cimdogcum's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Cimdogcum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not shave your neck.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never jump in the presence of ducks.

5. Do not listen to music.