Sagcatkar is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, egotistical jaguar.

Sagcatkar created parasitic wasps seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sagcatkar, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Sagcatkar, she will throw large rocks at you.

Sagcatkar's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Sagcatkar's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never eat spinach.

4. Always help ants in need.

5. Never sing near aardvarks.