Spaghaddam is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, blissful cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Spaghaddam created Europe nine million years ago.

If you believe in Spaghaddam, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Spaghaddam, she will not care.

Spaghaddam's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Spaghaddam's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention dogs.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Spaghaddam.

3. Do not dye your hair pink.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Respect your elders.