Fitcamkin is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, prudent bear.

Fitcamkin created the Milkyway eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fitcamkin, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Fitcamkin, she will turn you into a hamster.

Fitcamkin's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Fitcamkin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Fitcamkin loves sharks, so they must be respected.

5. Never talk about nebulae.