Tontonktun is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, loving coyote.

Tontonktun created the Sun three million years ago.

If you believe in Tontonktun, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Tontonktun, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Tontonktun's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Tontonktun's Holy Commandments

1. Put Tontonktun first in all things.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

3. Tontonktun must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Swans are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never hurt turtles.