Bellbesslad is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, cheerful finch.

Bellbesslad created Mount Everest five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bellbesslad, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Bellbesslad, she will turn you into a puffin.

Bellbesslad's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Bellbesslad's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed onions to ducks while wearing magenta shorts.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never think about moons.

4. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Bellbesslad on top of all buildings.

5. Put Bellbesslad first in all things.