Vidstansand is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, selfish goblin.

Vidstansand created dark energy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vidstansand, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Vidstansand, he will not invite you to parties.

Vidstansand's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Vidstansand's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at asteroids.

2. Gulls are not to be trusted.

3. Retreat if six pigs approach from the north.

4. Never jump in holy places.

5. Do not wear lead on your body.