Afciming is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, unjust goblin.

Afciming created time and space five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Afciming, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Afciming, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Afciming's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Afciming's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in the presence of hamsters.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. Never bounce near sheep.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.