Capmindut is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, cheerful salamander.

Capmindut created a bottom quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Capmindut, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Capmindut, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Capmindut's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Capmindut's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Erect a large tin sculpture of Capmindut on top of all buildings.

3. You must love Capmindut.

4. Never look at moons.

5. Run away from blue manatees, for they are unholy.