Lapdimbem is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, blissful ferret.

Lapdimbem created an up quark four years ago.

If you believe in Lapdimbem, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Lapdimbem, he will remove you from existence.

Lapdimbem's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Lapdimbem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about rice.

2. Always help sick otters.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Always stare at clouds.