Podstiglad is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, fast penguin.

Podstiglad created a top quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Podstiglad, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Podstiglad, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Podstiglad's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Podstiglad's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never hurt horses.

3. Put Podstiglad first in all things.

4. Feed all hungry eagles.

5. Never laugh in holy places.