Arpbogflam is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, astonishing tapir.

Arpbogflam created light nine million years ago.

If you believe in Arpbogflam, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Arpbogflam, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Arpbogflam's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Arpbogflam's Holy Commandments

1. Put Arpbogflam first in all things.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. You must love Arpbogflam.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.