Disslabbap is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, witty owl.

Disslabbap created time and space two years ago.

If you believe in Disslabbap, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Disslabbap, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Disslabbap's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Disslabbap's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate eagles.

2. Always look after injured monkeys.

3. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.