Wonnutlig is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, witty hedgehog.

Wonnutlig created carbon three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wonnutlig, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Wonnutlig, he will send minions to preach to you.

Wonnutlig's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Wonnutlig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat spinach.

2. Retreat if eight goats approach from the south.

3. You must pray to Wonnutlig six times a day.

4. Never wear coats.

5. Always help sick ducks.