Tarpvadstig is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, sapient monkey.

Tarpvadstig created the Whirlpool Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarpvadstig, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Tarpvadstig, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Tarpvadstig's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Tarpvadstig's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear purple jumpers.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Always help voles.

4. Never mention otters.

5. Never talk about stars.