Nilwitget is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, unthinking tortoise.

Nilwitget created the Whirlpool Galaxy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Nilwitget, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Nilwitget, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Nilwitget's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Nilwitget's Holy Commandments

1. Nilwitget must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never run in the presence of snails.

3. Worship no other gods but Nilwitget.

4. Always make sure there are no badgers in a room before entering it.

5. Always wear green.