Lagwodfen Tigpinlam is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, impressive gerbil.

Lagwodfen Tigpinlam created dark energy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lagwodfen Tigpinlam, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Lagwodfen Tigpinlam, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Lagwodfen Tigpinlam's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Lagwodfen Tigpinlam's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Never hurt tapirs.

3. Do not wear indigo clothing.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.