Dodvenflam is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, tiresome narwhal.

Dodvenflam created an atom four million years ago.

If you believe in Dodvenflam, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Dodvenflam, she will cry a lot.

Dodvenflam's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Dodvenflam's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about moons.

2. Always help whales.

3. Do not kill mites.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Run away if nine squirrels approach from the east.