Fedflancet is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, fussy crow.

Fedflancet created the universe three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fedflancet, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Fedflancet, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Fedflancet's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Fedflancet's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if eight swans approach from the west.

2. Never talk about shrews.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

4. Never hurt cats.

5. Fedflancet loves great tits, so they must be honoured.