Begdunfodwap is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, pitiless lobster.

Begdunfodwap created life three billion years ago.

If you believe in Begdunfodwap, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Begdunfodwap, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Begdunfodwap's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Begdunfodwap's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about geese.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never think about amino acids.

4. Hide if nine seals approach from the east.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force.