Vonfagjarn Lipwonzen Cetzogbut is a god.

She takes the form of a large, tiresome badger.

Vonfagjarn Lipwonzen Cetzogbut created the Sol system seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonfagjarn Lipwonzen Cetzogbut, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Vonfagjarn Lipwonzen Cetzogbut, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Vonfagjarn Lipwonzen Cetzogbut's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Vonfagjarn Lipwonzen Cetzogbut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never write about nebulae.

4. Do not trade with those who eat nuts.

5. Always help birds.