Ontmidmin is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, conceited wombat.

Ontmidmin created the planet Venus six billion years ago.

If you believe in Ontmidmin, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Ontmidmin, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Ontmidmin's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Ontmidmin's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no ants in a building before entering it.

2. Feed all hungry seals.

3. Put Ontmidmin first in all things.

4. Hide if five sharks approach from the west.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.