Labstragcusspag is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, uncaring weasel.

Labstragcusspag created everything that exists eight million years ago.

If you believe in Labstragcusspag, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Labstragcusspag, it will torture you forever.

Labstragcusspag's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Labstragcusspag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not speak about garlic.

5. Do not hurt dogs.