Spagspagced is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, charitable swallow.

Spagspagced created the world four million years ago.

If you believe in Spagspagced, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Spagspagced, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Spagspagced's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Spagspagced's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Run away if eight tapirs approach from the south.

4. Never talk about swans.

5. Always help rats in need.