Gonmotyikweepad is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, unsympathetic porpoise.

Gonmotyikweepad created the Large Magellanic Cloud five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gonmotyikweepad, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Gonmotyikweepad, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Gonmotyikweepad's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Gonmotyikweepad's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed turnips to foxes while wearing blue skirts.

2. Bats are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate monkeys.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Worship no other gods but Gonmotyikweepad.