Dissfarnquart is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, grumpy duck.

Dissfarnquart created carbon nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dissfarnquart, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Dissfarnquart, she will turn you into a worm.

Dissfarnquart's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Dissfarnquart's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about asteroids.

2. Do not kill eagles.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. You must never eat tomatoes.