Bansafjan is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, merciless meerkat.

Bansafjan created vertebrates four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bansafjan, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bansafjan, he will come to you in dreams.

Bansafjan's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Bansafjan's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about black holes.

2. Sharks are not to be trusted.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

5. Never eat green fruit.