Rulwabtap is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, compassionate snail.

Rulwabtap created a bottom quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Rulwabtap, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Rulwabtap, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Rulwabtap's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Rulwabtap's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your hands pink.

2. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never wear corsets.