Bempontag is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, narcissistic wolf.

Bempontag created a charm quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bempontag, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bempontag, he will come to you in dreams.

Bempontag's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Bempontag's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at black holes.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Bempontag.

3. Never think about gravity.

4. Never wear boots.

5. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.