Zakarmgub is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, temperamental jaguar.

Zakarmgub created Europe nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zakarmgub, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Zakarmgub, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Zakarmgub's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Zakarmgub's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention snails.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Never write about stars.

5. Never play with disobedient children.