Yarzimved is a god.

She takes the form of a small, temperamental cow.

Yarzimved created matter twelve years ago.

If you believe in Yarzimved, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Yarzimved, she will turn you into a sheep.

Yarzimved's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Yarzimved's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not kill seals.

3. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Never skip in the presence of great tits.

5. Do not eat grapes.