Femlakmip is a god.

She takes the form of a large, annoying toad.

Femlakmip created vertebrates nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Femlakmip, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Femlakmip, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Femlakmip's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Femlakmip's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in the presence of gulls.

2. Always wear yellow.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Always help otters.