Nurtbotcin is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, unsympathetic clam.

Nurtbotcin created the Sun three billion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtbotcin, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Nurtbotcin, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Nurtbotcin's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Nurtbotcin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Always help dogs.

5. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.