Sterquimfoss is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, blissful otter.

Sterquimfoss created carbon nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sterquimfoss, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Sterquimfoss, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Sterquimfoss' most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Sterquimfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Sterquimfoss.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Erect five nickel sculptures of Sterquimfoss on top of important buildings.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Always obey Sterquimfoss' priests.