Janlimarf is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, sage dryad.

Janlimarf created energy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Janlimarf, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Janlimarf, she will turn you into a mole.

Janlimarf's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Janlimarf's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in holy places.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. You must love Janlimarf.

4. Do not take Janlimarf's name in vain.

5. Do not trade with those who eat tomatoes.