Vighadvonvag Habstafvabsombum is a god.

He takes the form of a small, unthoughtful turtle.

Vighadvonvag Habstafvabsombum created oxygen six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vighadvonvag Habstafvabsombum, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Vighadvonvag Habstafvabsombum, he will turn you into a duck.

Vighadvonvag Habstafvabsombum's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Vighadvonvag Habstafvabsombum's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about gravity.

2. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a room before entering it.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Always help porpoises.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.