Teensugcat is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, witless gnu.

Teensugcat created bats three billion years ago.

If you believe in Teensugcat, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Teensugcat, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Teensugcat's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Teensugcat's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Teensugcat.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Teensugcat.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.