Fatveengub is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, uncaring rhinoceros.

Fatveengub created a photon nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fatveengub, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Fatveengub, she will turn you into a puffin.

Fatveengub's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Fatveengub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Fatveengub on top of all buildings.

5. Respect your elders.