Cumbopcap is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, conceited badger.

Cumbopcap created everything that exists seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cumbopcap, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Cumbopcap, he will destroy your home planet.

Cumbopcap's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Cumbopcap's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never hurt gulls.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never laugh in the presence of frogs.

5. Never eat oranges.