Titbarncabtig is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, unselfish bear.

Titbarncabtig created the world two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Titbarncabtig, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Titbarncabtig, he will strike you with lightening.

Titbarncabtig's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Titbarncabtig's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never look in ponds.