Nurtsawgom is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, overgenerous cobra.

Nurtsawgom created an atom four million years ago.

If you believe in Nurtsawgom, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Nurtsawgom, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Nurtsawgom's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Nurtsawgom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Do not wear pink clothing.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

4. Always look after injured grasshopers.

5. Hide from violet moths for they are unholy.