Latbestcet is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, merciful meerkat.

Latbestcet created a quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Latbestcet, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Latbestcet, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Latbestcet's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Latbestcet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Latbestcet must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Always make sure there are no mites in a room before entering it.

5. Do not shave your arms.