Gudfumleg is a god.

She takes the form of a large, passionate troll.

Gudfumleg created carbon five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gudfumleg, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Gudfumleg, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Gudfumleg's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Gudfumleg's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if five snails approach from the south.

2. Never talk about amino acids.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not dye your hair orange.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.