Yokmigmeg is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, unthinking giraffe.

Yokmigmeg created the planet Jupiter three billion years ago.

If you believe in Yokmigmeg, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Yokmigmeg, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Yokmigmeg's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Yokmigmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

4. Never talk about stars.

5. Never look in ponds.