Ratfarlak is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, all-knowing dugong.

Ratfarlak created humanity nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Ratfarlak, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Ratfarlak, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Ratfarlak's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Ratfarlak's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured capybaras.

2. Geese are not to be trusted.

3. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Do not dye your hair violet.

5. Never mention monkeys.