Bumquimpin is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, narcissistic squirrel.

Bumquimpin created the universe six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bumquimpin, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bumquimpin, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Bumquimpin's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Bumquimpin's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tortoises.

3. Do not take Bumquimpin's name in vain.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not wear silver on your body.