Wabfaskab Funbonkikciss is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, selfish mole.

Wabfaskab Funbonkikciss created light nine million years ago.

If you believe in Wabfaskab Funbonkikciss, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Wabfaskab Funbonkikciss, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Wabfaskab Funbonkikciss' most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Wabfaskab Funbonkikciss' Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Wabfaskab Funbonkikciss.

2. Erect five zinc sculptures of Wabfaskab Funbonkikciss on top of important buildings.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.