Tamganlak is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, moody swan.

Tamganlak created the Whirlpool Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Tamganlak, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Tamganlak, he will destroy your favourite star.

Tamganlak's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Tamganlak's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Erect a large silver sculpture of Tamganlak on top of all buildings.

3. Pray towards the west.

4. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Do not commit murder.